I promised myself I would do better this go round as a mommy.
I promised to be more present in every moment. I promised I wouldn’t take gobs of pictures because when my other children were small it seemed like I was behind a camera more than I was actually participating in their lives.
I promised myself that this time I wouldn’t allow my baby to watch any television. I already raised two babies, who watched television, and their brains weren’t fried, but this time around I wanted to try to do things a little differently.
I promised myself I would slow down. Enjoy the time I got to spend nursing and cuddling with my sweet little flower and not worry so much about the laundry or the dishes or the dust collecting on the furniture.
I promised myself that I would relish every second because I know first hand what its like to wake up one day and have your baby no longer small enough to fit in your lap.
Last night I held my little girl a little longer than I usually do, even though in the back of my mind things were nagging at me. My to do list called. I stroked her hair, kissed her chubby cheeks, and I rocked her just until her eyes got heavy enough to fade off to dream land. As I gently got up and placed her down to sleep she raised her little hand to my face, began softly petting my cheek, and cooed the words “ahhh, ahhh, ahhh!” as she passed her tiny open palm down the side of my face several times in a row. My heart melted as I stood lingering over her and soaked up the tender moment. I kissed her once more and said goodnight.
I began to walk out of the room making another promise. Don’t ever forget this moment I told myself. It seems simple enough and perhaps to some people not that big of a deal, but to me it was huge.
You see just yesterday my little flower and I were playing and as little babies sometimes do, in a moment of excitement, she smacked my face. So in order to teach her not to “hit” I took ahold of her hand and stroked my cheek with it. As I did this I said, “ahhh, ahhh, ahhh, gentle” and ran her hand down my face three times.
Last night she showed me what she learned.
Next month she will turn a year old and already things are going by too quickly.